That's What She Said

"It's okay, I understand that you're trying to be responsible. You don't have to apologize. We can go our separate ways. Thanks anyway...."

"Don't you know we could have gone all the way? I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way about you anymore. Please, stop coming to see me..."

"I'm sorry but I don't want to hurt anymore. I want to break-up with you. This is where it ends..."

"Thanks for the wonderful times. It's been great being with you. I hope we both find our own places in this world. Take care and hugs..."

"Why don't we just break-up? I can't love you as much as you love me. It's unfair for you. So, please, just let this go..."

"I think you should stop seeing me. It's not fair for you and I don't want you to sacrifice more than you already have. I will always be your friend and always remember that you'll have a special place in my heart..."

These are the words I still keep in my heart. It's not that I want to but for some reason, they remain there, in the deep recesses of my broken heart. I've been through quite a lot in life. Some would say, I've already been through more than some would have gone through in their entire life. Yet, of all the disappointments in my life, nothing depresses me more than the fact that I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Well, actually, I did... once... but that true love was lost in all the uncertainty... lost in all the sacrifices... lost in all the confusion and regret - a regret that I once held her in my arms... a regret that I didn't hold her longer... a regret that I cannot share my life with her anymore...

Love has a way of lifting you up to the clouds and then letting you fall. You might be lucky to fall onto the rocks. All that it will do is break you into half. It is a death, no doubt, but a quick one. It would almost be painless as your head cracks open and your brain gets splattered all over in an instant. The only bad thing is that you won't look very good in your coffin, brainless and all.

If you are less lucky, you might fall into the water. Though depending on how you fall, the water may soften your fall but it will nevertheless drown you in all its sorrow. It would be like drowning in an ocean of tears. That wouldn't be very nice if the last thing you taste is the bitterness of your tears. The pain of it would pierce right through your heart and you would bleed a horrible and painful death.

No, I would much prefer to die in the arms of the one I love. At least then, I can leave this world with a smile on my face and sunshine in my heart. Knowing that I had found my one true love, I would gladly leave this Earth. But that's not the case. No, far from it.

Until today, I still can't forget her. Until today, I still can't find someone to replace her. Until today, I still can't find that one true love that I once had and am still looking for and every day, life gets that much harder to live. So, if you find 'LOVE', please tell her that I'm here, waiting for her... or sometimes I wonder, is she even out there at all?

"You should forget about me. I'm not good for you. You'll find someone better, I'm sure."

That's what she said.