Chains Around My Heart

It's been a rather disheartening week. The latest results from my students' essays have not been good. Only a few have given me a glimmer of hope that they can score the elusive 'A'. While I had already expected their results to be average by Cambridge's standards, I surely didn't expect their essays to fare so poorly.

As I returned from a briefing on essay grading, my mind was burdened with countless thoughts and questions. Inside, my heart was being eaten away by worries that seemed unending. What have I done wrong? Did I use the correct approach? Have I failed as a teacher...?

I then went on a mad shopping spree, hoping to wash away the frustration and worry inside me, much like how the rain had washed the dirt off my car. I'm such a girl I know... but it's the only remedy I know.

When I returned to my class after that episode, the chains in my heart seemed to tighten further. Looking into my students' eyes, the chains weighed like rocks. It was so hard for me to break the bad news but I had to. Seeing their shocked and worried expressions pained me further but they encouraged me to go on. In their own way, they made me feel much better about myself.

By the end of the class, the chains around my heart had loosened and weighed nothing more than pebbles. This bunch of students - they're really something. What would I do without them? With less than a month before they leave, it's really time I start thinking about what I must do without them...