Washed Over With Rain

It's been a long time since I last wrote. The reason for my long absence? Well, at times, it felt like I had nothing to write about. At other times, I had much to say but I couldn't find the right person to talk to. And so... I just kept quiet.

My life hasn't been the same since the end of last year. I'm reluctant to say it but the truth is... something is missing in my life. Whether it's the familiar faces I no longer see walking through the door or perhaps that 'Special Someone' who is still to be found, I'm not even sure myself. I've been single for quite some time and it feels like I could go on being single... maybe even forever. But I know my heart yearns for love yet I'm not desperate to look for it. I just let it come if it does and go on if it doesn't. My students keep wishing and hoping I'll find one soon. They're such sweet angels; they care so much for this old fart of an English teacher.

And speaking of 'old', I was taken by surprise by my students today. It seemed like an ordinary day (except for that strange request to wear blue today. Hmmm...) So, I was a little excited and curious about what my creative bunch of geniuses would come up with today.

It was not 'till the end of class when we were suddenly thrown into darkness and a dim light appeared from behind the door. In came my two angels and I realised then what today was all about. The sound of their voices filled the quiet air with wishes of 'Happy Birthday to you' as I steadied myself to remain cool. Inside my heart, it was raining. It was the rain of the sadness and loneliness I'd been feeling since late last year. Now, all those feelings were being washed away by a new cloud of rain. It was the rain of tears from a simple and carefree teacher, touched by a group of sweet angels. Someone, who on the outside was cool and smiling because he didn't want his students to see him cry... and smiling because he was truly happy.

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'I've been carrying this burden of sadness and loneliness for far too long', I kept thinking to myself as I drove home. As the heavy rain poured from the sky and battered the roof above me, I decided it was time to finally let go...

'Let the rain fall from the sky... but never, in my heart'.

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In my 6 years of teaching, I've celebrated my birthday with my students but I've never had students who celebrated my birthday with me. Thank you so much PTAG Class of 2009. You are the first and only group of students who have done this for me and I truly appreciate it. You are the colours of my happiness; you are the rain that washed away my sadness.

My hugs & love to:

Wei Le

Jia Min

Yan Wei

Connie

Tiffany

Xin Hui

Jing Tian

Jia Yin

Ken

Qao Shaun

Edwin

Natalie

Chee Hong

Wee Kiat

Jun Hao

As a teacher, I never ask for anything from my students except to pay attention, participate and enjoy learning. What you have done today is what a teacher can only dream of. Thank you for this sweet dream which has come true.