52 Years of Waiting

Growing up as a kid, I never really understood what being a Malaysian was all about. Simply because as a kid, I didn't see people as Malays, Indians, Punjabis or Chinese. They were either my friends or just people I didn't know. Life for me, as a kid was so much simpler and I grew up having Chinese, Indian, Malay and Punjabi friends.

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Today, as an adult, I am supposed to be wiser. Today, as a society, we are supposed to be more civilised. So, why are my friends of other races becoming lesser and lesser? We are supposed to be more understanding and 'tolerant' of each other but we seem not to be. Actually, I don't like to use this description of our society, 'to be tolerant of one another' or in our national language, 'mengamalkan sikap bertoleransi di antara satu sama lain' (not bad for someone who scored 'P8' for BM in SPM eh? LOL).

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When we tolerate others, it brings to mind a feeling of disgust and annoyance. It's like saying,

"Wah lau... I cannot tahan that stupid song but no choice lah. Have to tahan anyway, if not sure fight wan...".

It's actually a very negative way of looking at things and certainly a very negative way to live in a plural society like ours. That's one term I like - 'plural society'. It reminds me that there's more than one and we all belong to ONE society.

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Yes, the radio stations are blaring it, the TV stations are pasting it over the screen 24/7 - this 'Satu Malaysia' message which some might term as propaganda. Some may see it as the government's attempts to air-brush the mess that we are in right now (Yes, boys and girls, we ARE in a mess!) while the more optimistic will see this as a campaign to strenghten national unity. For our current and future generation, I hope the latter is indeed truer than the former.

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In previous years, I would most likely be out on the town on Merdeka Eve, with my beloved country's flag draped around me and I'd be running like a madman with my students at Sunway Pyramid screaming 'Merdeka! Merdeka!'. Somehow, this year, the enthusiasm has left me. Not that I don't love my country anymore but recent events have shattered my belief in what's left to hope for in this country. The names 'S. Kugan' and 'Teoh Beng Hock' remind us that we are still a long way from 'Merdeka'. Having independence means being free to live but instead, we live in fear of what's to transpire. Add to those two names, one particularly beautiful soul - the late Yasmin Ahmad, and the mood this year is indeed more sombre than triumphant.

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I love my country but there's not much love coming from the other side. Anyone who's experienced unrequited love will know how that feels. Sucks right? I always advice those blindly in love that 'love is not a one way street'. 'It takes two hands to clap' would be the completing phrase for that. I have loved my country for my entire life so far, when will she ever return my love? For those like me, it's been 52 years... and we are still waiting...

KAMI CINTA NEGARA KITA, KAMI ANAK MALAYSIA!

Selamat Menyambut Hari Merdeka kepada semua Anak Malaysia. Live long and prosper!