How do I go about describing a day where I'm so nervous that I end up sleeping for only 3 hours? For me, that is some kind of record. I usually go to bed around 7 and wake up way after lunch time. Today, I woke up at 10.
I looked myself in the mirror... the wrinkles suddenly become so obvious... the hair suddenly looks thinner and my face is simply a mess. I look away in disgust. If there's one thing I can't stop, it's time. So, I let go and resign myself to the seconds ticking away into minutes, hours and days. I'm not afraid of being old, just afraid of losing my youth.
I gather up my courage and my heart to go meet her - Destiny. She is shinning, shimmering in the bright sunlight like an angel... and she waits for me there. I walk into the sunlight and bathe myself in her afterglow as she walks ahead of me... every step a leap away from me, every movement a vanishing of her presence. The truth hurts - I can never be entwined with Destiny. Our worlds are too far apart and I'm just wrong for her. So , I wave goodbye and head for home, tired and waiting for Death to come for me.
I looked myself in the mirror... the wrinkles suddenly become so obvious... the hair suddenly looks thinner and my face is simply a mess. I look away in disgust. If there's one thing I can't stop, it's time. So, I let go and resign myself to the seconds ticking away into minutes, hours and days. I'm not afraid of being old, just afraid of losing my youth.
I gather up my courage and my heart to go meet her - Destiny. She is shinning, shimmering in the bright sunlight like an angel... and she waits for me there. I walk into the sunlight and bathe myself in her afterglow as she walks ahead of me... every step a leap away from me, every movement a vanishing of her presence. The truth hurts - I can never be entwined with Destiny. Our worlds are too far apart and I'm just wrong for her. So , I wave goodbye and head for home, tired and waiting for Death to come for me.
In class, a missing face is haunting me. Where has that smile gone I wonder?
The voice over the phone reveals where the smile has turned into a frown, into an embarrased expression of sadness and perhaps regret?
Inside, my heart breaks into cracks as large as my soul. And with every crack, I patch it up and make it whole again. I make it strong once more to face another day.
The truth hurts - My classes don't focus enough on a student's examination needs. They are a waste of time. So, I wave goodbye and head for home, tired and waiting for death to come for me...
... but I lie awake still... no, I'm not ready to die yet...
"Praise is good, it strengthens the heart; criticism is even better; it strengthens the whole."
- Caleb Ho.
5 comments:
cheer up, k? :)
Why so depressing? Knowing something's wrong is good sometimes- it lets you fix things up, or at least try to. Cheer up =]
Hope you feel better soon.
Yinyin: Hey thanks. I will and I already have. =)
Resha: Thanks. Yeah, every problem is an opportunity to make things better! I couldn't agree more! =)
Knowing the Destiny is far apart, you'll just have to put in a little more effort to grab it!
<3
Bev: What if I've made the effort to grab the opportunity and nothing happens? And what if I really shouldn't grab it cause it's not right for me? Maybe it's just not my Destiny...
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