Life... As I Know It...

I've been having this on my mind for a couple of weeks. "To be or not to be, that is the question...". Just as Hamlet once said of his dilemma, so now am I, the Hamlet of the modern times.

I love my job. That says enough about why I do what I do and how I do what I do. I teach; but as any of my students will tell you, I teach different things, differently. Not all students can accept my method of teaching but those are the same students who do not realise the point of my teaching. Those are the same students who miss out on so much that I have to offer. The majority of my students who stay with me until they graduate, realise and understand the point of my teaching. These are the students who will later go on to college and university and thank me for preparing them for their future. And really, a simple, 'Thank You', is all I ever hope for.

Recently, I've been faced with a choice that has been unexpectedly set before me. It is a choice for me to widen my circle of students and to push myself even harder than I already am. As it is now, my schedule is almost full. I'm currently teaching 20 classes from Monday to Friday, from as early as 8:00am to the late hours of 10pm. Only Friday night gives me some much needed rest and time off for myself. Of course, there is also the weekend - a precious time for myself that I cherish so deeply. Well, it won't be the case anymore.

Ive always been proud to say, "I don't teach on Saturdays and Sundays. Those are my off days." Now, I might have to rephrase that to, "I don't teach on Sunday. That is my off day." The question that has been burning in my mind, has been whether I should take up the offer of teaching at a new place. This was the unexpected choice that presented itself before me. It was something I never thought about but in the circumstances that it has presented itself, I find myself considering something which I thought I would reject outright. Maybe I'm still considering to reject this offer... I don't know. That's why I'm still awake at this hour. I usually am awake at this hour but that is due to me being full of energy and happily commenting away on facebook. Nowadays, I find my energy escaping me. Where it is escaping to, I have no idea and I'm desperate to find it again.

Life, as it is for me now, is good. I'm busier than I used to be but I still have time for myself. I live an active life and most people are surprised to hear that. For most people, the sporting activities I do on a regular basis would seem almost impossible at the age I am and for the hours I work. The sad thing is, I used to do more than this. It used to be gym four times a week, futsal once a week, swimming twice a week, and Wing Chun once a week. Starting from next month, I fear it might turn into this instead - gym once a week, futsal once a week and Wing Chun once a week. That is far from what I would be satisfied doing for myself. I have personal targets to achieve and this new venture means I will have to give some of them up. And for who do I give up my personal goals? My students, that's who.

I don't have anyone else to love besides my family and friends, and so I love my students. I love them because I treat them as my friends. I only wish they would treat me the same. Recently, there have been a few times where I've lost my temper in class and if you know me, you would know that is something that doesn't happen. I used to joke that I would lose my temper once a year. Now, some unappreciative students are trying to break that record and some, unfortunately, have actually succeeded. I hate getting angry and I don't want to get angry - ever.

So there you have it. With my new classes adding onto my already full schedule and with students nowadays behaving worse than before, life... as I know it... is about to change... for better or worse? I'm praying desperately that it is the former.