The heart pounds... stronger and stronger with each passing second... it's thumping harder against the wall of my soul... I can almost feel it burst out screaming! I feel like running, kicking and screaming but then... nothing... nothing but silence...
Nothing seems to satisfy me anymore. I flick through my pile of DVDs, so new the plastic still wraps itself around so tightly. I don't have the mood to watch anything. I've not had the mood to watch anything for a long time. All they do is sit there, collecting dust by the day and the day has turned into weeks, which have turned into months...
I go out for a drink with my students. That's always fun. I order an ice-cold fresh fruit juice and it refreshes me... but only for a while. Once the glass is empty, the satisfaction is drained with it. Let's see what else is on the menu... Ahh... my favourite comfort food - ice-cream; something I love and haven't had for a long time. It arrives - tall glass of icy creamy goodness looking splendidly delicious. Disappointing; the blueberry sauce is sour and not what I'd imagined. Looks can be deceiving. I should have ordered chocolate instead.
Okay, fun time's over. Time to send my students home. Back at my house, I'm still feeling dissatisfied. I stumble into the kitchen and rummage through the fridge. Let's have a few chunks of chocolate - my second favourite comfort food. Too sweet. I prefer dark chocolate... but there's only so little left. Sigh...
Upstairs to my room then. Let's play my favourite computer game - Football Manager. This should be satisfying. Finally, my Liverpool team is awesome enough to beat any team. Team selection -set, tactics -set. Play... Damn! My team can't even beat Manchester City. A lousy draw after my captain is sent off for a vicious tackle. Argh!
What now? Okay, let's go for a drive through this sleepy town and listen to some good music in the car...
All right, I've been circling the same area thrice. There must be something satisfying I can do at 3am in the morning. Let's watch some real football then. It's Champions League night and the big game is on - AC Milan vs Real Madrid. My team's not playing but Madrid disgusts me, so it should be fun watching Milan thrash them. Oh... wait, I don't think that's going to happen. Might end up disappointed, again. Skip!
Okay, back in my room again. 4 in the morning. Let's listen to some sad love songs as I ponder... what else is there to do? Play my guitar? Check my Facebook profile for the eighth time today? Ah... screw it! Just sleep then.
Nothing seems to satisfy me anymore.
2 comments:
well, time to "pimp my life"! :)
if you need a chat, look for me via FB chat. I can try to cheer you up :)
Hey bro, thanks! Well, I think I need more than just a good old friend to cheer me up although a Chinese New Year reunion with you, Jeff, Elaine, Siao Fong, Teh Li, Khai Tee and the rest of the old gang would be great. I really miss our youth days but we've got to move on, right? Sigh...
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