Friday 21 November 2014

A Day in the Life of a Malaysian Citizen

I woke up extra early today at 10:30 AM. Yes, for me, that is considered early. I'm not a morning person. I never have been; I never will be. It's just how I naturally am.

So, why the extra effort to get up early today? Well, I was the unfortunate victim of a road accident about 4 weeks ago. A 3-tonne trailer rammed into the side of my car from behind - no kidding. It was almost like a scene out of Transformers. I guess you could say I had a brush with Optimus Prime that Monday afternoon.

Well, the minimum 14 days to collect my accident report, photos, rough sketch of the accident and other documents had finally passed. I waited this long to make sure everything was ready. After all, the police station was located 22 KM from my home - not a short distance by any means.

By 11:45 AM I had arrived at the police station. I presented my copy of the police report to the female officer behind the counter. After about a minute of typing on her computer, she told me,
"Semua dokumen ada kecuali keputusan."
I was stunned. After nearly 4 weeks and the decision slip still wasn't ready?
"Dah lebih 3 minggu tapi belum siap? Jadi macam mana sekarang?"
"You kena jumpa Sarjan. Tapi dia tak masuk hari ini. Kena datang hari Ahad."
"Huh? Kena datang lagi hari Ahad?"
"Ya. You call dia dulu sebelum datang."
"Okay, terima kasih, Cik."

I walked off shaking my head. Unbelievable. Without the decision slip (keputusan), I can't make any insurance claims to repair my car. I decided to find out more and called my insurance agent. He told me that it was most likely that the Sergeant wanted "something" from me before he would give me the decision slip. A second call to the workshop confirmed this.

By having that 3-tonne trailer ram into my car, I had become a victim. By having to drive all the way, wasting precious time and money, I had become a victim a second time. By having to pay RM 22 for my copy of the accident report documents, I had become a victim a third time. Now, I was supposed to come all the way here again to this police station 22 KM from my home just to collect what should have been given to me today? And what more, I had to give "something" to this Sergeant so I could get a decision slip that is part of the RM 22 I paid for? Unfuckingbelievable!


But isn't this the norm in our country? Isn't this what being a citizen of Malaysia is all about? Nothing's fair in this world. Yes but in Malaysia, it seems that "nothing's fair" is part of the law and happens to us RAKYAT every bloody day. It was then that my near-impossible daydreams of becoming The Dark Knight again resurfaced. This town needs a Batman and I would be damn willing to clean up all the shit in this town as a masked vigilante if strength, skill, intelligence and money permitted. And if technology permitted, I'd be Iron Man too.

Damn, I was pissed! Yet, this country has a way of pissing you further. On my way back, I had to face a driver who without signaling, slowed down on a single lane road in front of me, causing me to wait like an idiot until I realised she wanted to make a right turn. Then, a man driving a van from the opposite direction, cut in front of my car without signaling, on a ONE WAY street. I had to blow off some steam and decided to make a visit to Dynasty Dragon Restaurant in Klang Parade for some dim sum. More steam. Oh the irony!

Arriving at the restaurant, I was greeted by familiar faces among the supervisors. They recognised me as well, even after more than a year. I sat down by myself as usual and looked through the menu. Hardly anything had changed in the menu, except one thing - the price. What used to be RM 4;50 was now RM 5.50 and what used to be RM 5.50 now cost an extra Ringgit. Great! Just great...

After ordering my food, I was so pissed, I decided to take a piss in the men's washroom. I had to walk out of the restaurant into the public restroom provided by Klang Parade. Not a problem for me. It gave me a chance to view the newly designed restrooms. As I walked in, a man in a purple shirt walked out past me on my left. Inside the restroom, I stood in front of the urinal about to take a piss. Almost immediately, that man in the purple shirt walked back in and went to wash his hands at the sink directly behind my back. I sensed something and got into "DEFEND" mode, my hands ready to strike if necessary.

Via the reflection on the shiny marbled wall in front of me, I observed him closely. He was about 36 to 38 years of age, short and thin and did not seem dangerous. Then, as I suspected, he walked up to the urinal right next to me on my right. By then, I knew what his next move was. That bloody pervert tried to secretly peep down at my "you know what". I stared back at him fiercely. I was bloody pissed and was waiting for this bastard to give me an excuse to switch to "ATTACK" mode and beat the shit out of him! But too bad, he shied away. I then walked to the sink to wash my hands and guess what? No toilet paper. I  then decided to put on a little "show" for that pervert who was still pretending to be pissing at the urinal. I pretended to check the cubicles for toilet paper then slammed the doors real hard. I then walked past the man who seemed a little shaken by all the ruckus I had made. I put on my best "gangster face" as I stared at him and walked out. Useless fucker.

By the time I returned to my table in the restaurant, my food was ready. If it was any consolation, the food was still as good. Yet, as I quietly calculated the cost of my brunch, I knew I wouldn't be back here anytime soon. The good life is just too expensive to live in Malaysia when you're earning average pay. The sad thing is, I knew that by earning the same average pay in America, I would be able to afford a pretty good life.

Upon finishing brunch and half a pot of Chinese tea, I decided to check out what was new on the highest floor. I walked into Next Food Junction, Klang Parade's spanking new food court and was suitably impressed by the design and layout. One thing caught my eye though. The food court was divided into two - the Non-Halal section and the Halal section. I could understand the logic (if you could call it that) but in my heart, I felt sad that this was a reflection of our society - the Malays on one side and the rest on the other. Perhaps that was not the intention but it was certainly NOT a progressive step towards a harmonious society. What has happened to Malaysia? I was sad more than pissed but my mood was punctuated by a huge sign placed upright on the floor. I'll show you what it was later but boy did it make me laugh. Oh my country!

My next stop was at the arcade center. This used to be something popular during my school days. Sounds of "Ah boogan!" and "Boh liu gan" still echo in my mind from the days spent at the local arcade for yet another round of Street Fighter. I paid RM 2 for two tokens which qualified for one round of Daytona USA. This used to be just 20 sen back then. Sigh and another shake of the head.

As I sat down, anticipating a fun time behind the wheel, a boy of about 14 sat in the racing seat beside me. So, it was him versus me. Fine. I got off to a good start and was in the lead until the boy got nasty and started crashing into me. On one of laps, he pinned my car to the wall and it flipped. Then he shamelessly sped off to claim victory with my beat-up car trailing close behind. No doubt the girl standing next to him was impressed with his shameless win. I'm fine with losing but not when it's not fair. I decided to keep my Wolverine claws under my skin this time. I shook my head yet again thinking what sort of driver this young punk was going to be in another 3 years.

Well, enough disappointment for one day. I paid my parking fee and drove home, encountering more incidents of reckless and inconsiderate driving. Minutes before I reached my home, I noticed a huge roadworks truck beside the road and some town council workers sawing off the branches of a tree. I slowed my car down to let cars from the opposite lane go first. One of the drivers waved to me with a smile as he drove past, thanking me for giving way. I had been bullied and made a victim for almost the entire day. It was nice to receive an appreciative smile FINALLY.

Once the opposite road was clear of vehicles, I drove slowly past the fallen branches. The town council worker smiled and thanked me for my cooperation. I smiled back at him and gave him a thumbs up. I had just had a rather miserable day and the least I could do was make a fellow Malaysian's day brighter.

Oh, as for that sign I saw in the food court earlier. Well, here you go.

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