I had a tough time in class this morning. First, I was bombarded by my young students for being old and forgetful. They had every right. Last week, I promised to bring their project materials for their presentation this morning and this week, I somehow forgot. If there's one thing I hate, it's promising something and then not delivering upon that promise. I've been doing that more often than I like lately... perhaps age is really catching up with me? Perhaps I'm not as young as I'd like to think I am?
They then teased me, saying that I should be getting married at my age and asked why am I still single? (I just happen to have three weddings in a row lined up in the coming weeks) Bang! Second bullet straight into my heart. Not my favourite topic in recent weeks since I've been feeling that ugly loneliness starting to creep in again.
The day just got worse as I was further accused by my students of being somewhat "perverted". For those who have never been in my class, they might be shocked at how my students treat me. For those who have, they perfectly understand that I develop a close relationship with my students... to the point they feel absolutely free to say whatever they like, no matter how disrespectful it may seem. Am I offended? On other days, I'm usually not. But this was something different. Sure, they were joking with me but I treat this as more than a joke. I'm not bothered about how others see me but I AM very much bothered by what my students think of me. They mean a lot to me and if this is truly what they think of me, then I am truly saddened to the point of being devastated.
I face a variety of students in my week. Some classes give me joy while some just drive me up the wall! And some classes make me feel totally at ease and contented to be doing what I do. These classes are few and far between and the time spent with these students are the highlight of my week. It's like catching a glimpse of the rainbow after the rain has faded into the big blue sky. If I no longer have that rainbow up in the sky... what else is left for me to look forward to?
Friday, 29 August 2008
Saturday, 9 August 2008
A Smile On Sunday
It's not the norm for me to wake up early on Sunday. Then again, it's never the norm for me to wake up early on ANY day. I'm a night person and if I were rich and had advanced technology at my disposal, I'd be The Dark Knight (anybody want to sponsor me?).
Today, however, was one of those special days. A day where I would be able to go back to 'school'. Canteen Day - Ahh... the good old days. And so, I was up by 9 (which is still too early for me) and got into my jeans and T, coupons in hand. Once I got there, my eyes caught sight of the bustling activities among stalls and my ears were welcomed with the loud thumping of the latest Chinese pop hits. I immediately got into my groove. It's funny how at my age, I still seem to 'fit in' with the crowd. Haha!
I strolled from one stall to the next, taking a peep into what interesting (or bland) dishes students these days can cook up. Some were obviously your run-of-the-mill burgers and fishballs on sticks but there were some with a touch of creativity, such as one of my student's sandwich rolls. It was an interesting take on the age-old sandwich in the form of sushi rolls. I also had a popiah which exceeded my expectations. I usually don't expect much in terms of food quality when it comes to Canteen Days but this caught me by surprise!
But what would a trip back to school be without running into one of my students? Pleased to say, I ran into quite a few and I was absolutely delighted. Some were my current students and some were my former. Regardless of whichever one, I'm always happy to see them and spend some time with them. Some are even surprised that I would be there at all. Seeing a smile on their faces truly puts one on my face as well.
The only thing that somewhat dims my day is when students don't seem eager to see me (am I that scary?). In most cases, I'm usually the one who's so enthused to see them, going on and on about how long it's been and all they can muster is a 'Yeah... mmm... yeah..." and a faint nod. Maybe they're shy? But that would be lying to myself, cause I can certainly tell if someone is happy to see me or not. It's a shame really... to think that after all the effort I put into my teaching, I can't even get a smile on Sunday.
Today, however, was one of those special days. A day where I would be able to go back to 'school'. Canteen Day - Ahh... the good old days. And so, I was up by 9 (which is still too early for me) and got into my jeans and T, coupons in hand. Once I got there, my eyes caught sight of the bustling activities among stalls and my ears were welcomed with the loud thumping of the latest Chinese pop hits. I immediately got into my groove. It's funny how at my age, I still seem to 'fit in' with the crowd. Haha!
I strolled from one stall to the next, taking a peep into what interesting (or bland) dishes students these days can cook up. Some were obviously your run-of-the-mill burgers and fishballs on sticks but there were some with a touch of creativity, such as one of my student's sandwich rolls. It was an interesting take on the age-old sandwich in the form of sushi rolls. I also had a popiah which exceeded my expectations. I usually don't expect much in terms of food quality when it comes to Canteen Days but this caught me by surprise!
But what would a trip back to school be without running into one of my students? Pleased to say, I ran into quite a few and I was absolutely delighted. Some were my current students and some were my former. Regardless of whichever one, I'm always happy to see them and spend some time with them. Some are even surprised that I would be there at all. Seeing a smile on their faces truly puts one on my face as well.
The only thing that somewhat dims my day is when students don't seem eager to see me (am I that scary?). In most cases, I'm usually the one who's so enthused to see them, going on and on about how long it's been and all they can muster is a 'Yeah... mmm... yeah..." and a faint nod. Maybe they're shy? But that would be lying to myself, cause I can certainly tell if someone is happy to see me or not. It's a shame really... to think that after all the effort I put into my teaching, I can't even get a smile on Sunday.
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