Friday 29 August 2008

Rainbow

I had a tough time in class this morning. First, I was bombarded by my young students for being old and forgetful. They had every right. Last week, I promised to bring their project materials for their presentation this morning and this week, I somehow forgot. If there's one thing I hate, it's promising something and then not delivering upon that promise. I've been doing that more often than I like lately... perhaps age is really catching up with me? Perhaps I'm not as young as I'd like to think I am?

They then teased me, saying that I should be getting married at my age and asked why am I still single? (I just happen to have three weddings in a row lined up in the coming weeks) Bang! Second bullet straight into my heart. Not my favourite topic in recent weeks since I've been feeling that ugly loneliness starting to creep in again.

The day just got worse as I was further accused by my students of being somewhat "perverted". For those who have never been in my class, they might be shocked at how my students treat me. For those who have, they perfectly understand that I develop a close relationship with my students... to the point they feel absolutely free to say whatever they like, no matter how disrespectful it may seem. Am I offended? On other days, I'm usually not. But this was something different. Sure, they were joking with me but I treat this as more than a joke. I'm not bothered about how others see me but I AM very much bothered by what my students think of me. They mean a lot to me and if this is truly what they think of me, then I am truly saddened to the point of being devastated.

I face a variety of students in my week. Some classes give me joy while some just drive me up the wall! And some classes make me feel totally at ease and contented to be doing what I do. These classes are few and far between and the time spent with these students are the highlight of my week. It's like catching a glimpse of the rainbow after the rain has faded into the big blue sky. If I no longer have that rainbow up in the sky... what else is left for me to look forward to?

7 comments:

Steffi said...

You are so not alone. In more ways than one. But as in three weddings in three weekends, well, I have not had that, yet. Ha!

Some students cross over the line at times, they don't seem to see teachers as human beings with feelings. Like today, I gave my best at class, from the starting till the end. I gave a kick-ass class, or so I thought, because at the end of the day, all they wanted was the class to end. (by checking their watches.)

At the end of the day, I think, giving our best in class is not mainly for the enjoyment of our students. It's ultimately for ourselves.

to you & we said...

Nah~ i an not telling my identity~ i like to me more under-cover^^~ Secret if what u know

coЙЙϊΣ said...

Hi teacher~Connie's here....it's okay...I like the way you teach! It makes me feel no stress....

Caleb said...

Hey Connie. I'm surprised to 'see' you here! Who told you about my blog? Well, I'm happy to know you enjoy being in my class. I'm happy to have you in my class too :)

=) said...

actually.. there is more than student and teacher in life rite? sometime u just have to take some different type of game in your life..there is more than student u can look forward=)

Caleb said...

Sure, life is more than just enjoying the relationship between a teacher and a student... it's also about keeping that relationship for life... as friends ;)

ZZ said...

Don't be sad,teacher....the gurlz always speak out before thinking and most of the times they r juz playing around not meant 2 hurt u ^^be happy!