Goodbye For Now

I said my first 'goodbye' to my Form 3 students tonight. There'll be 2 more coming up. Phew!

Every year, I have to gather up my courage and strength to do what I feel is one of the hardest things in life - saying 'goodbye' (the other being 'letting go'). While the latter would more aptly describe a parent's biggest worry, sometimes, being a teacher is also like being a parent. We teach, guide, nurture, discipline... listen... comfort... things that most caring parents would do for their children.

While I've yet to experience being a parent, I can imagine how much harder that would be. Afterall, parents have to find some way of letting go of their children, having looked after them for a quarter of their lives.

As teachers, we're not as privileged as most parents are, having only 5 years at most to 'look after' our students. Still, that's not to say the process of 'letting go' for teachers is any easier. For one such as myself... it's extremely hard.

So, as I faced my class of bright-eyed 15-year-olds tonight, I tried my best to console myself of the fact that we might see each other again next year. Though I can't expect all of them to return, the possibility of it still gives me hope... and I guess that's what made it a little easier for me this time. In previous years, I would have gone straight into my car and sobbed right after. Tonight, I managed to even smile to myself as I recalled the good times we've had... and as I drove off, something deep inside told me it would just be 'goodbye for now'.

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"I'm only your teacher as long as you're my student; I'm only your friend as long as you're mine."

Let Me Be Here Forever

The past few weeks have been difficult for me... my situation has been awkward, uncomfortable and somewhat depressing to see... sometimes all at once they devour me....

It happens every time I step into my Form 5 classes... it happens when I see their smiling faces...
it happens when they leave me staring at empty spaces...

The next few weeks will be our last together... Tuesday and Friday nights will change forever... our classroom ties unwillingly I'll have to sever...

It's happened before, this dreaded time of year... which I cautiously approach with fear... Living day to day, silently fighting tears that appear...

But what can I do but accept this fate? This feeling of joy I find no way to replicate... a feeling that leaves me floating in a helpless state...

Let me lose this feeling, never... let me feel like this, rain or sunny weather... let me be here forever...

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"Let the wind take me to our special place... let it carry me on its shoulders to the place where eternity will embrace... to the garden of laughter and music where I'll forever see your face..."

Birth Of A Nation

Today is 16th September... the day our nation united under one name... 45 years ago. On this day, Sabah, Sarawak and Singapore joined Peninsula Malaya to form the Malaysian Federation and with exception to Singapore, we have remained thus eversince.

Let's not delve into the recent political turmoil plaguing our country. Rather, I prefer to focus on celebrating the fact that we have been largely at peace with one another, despite the strong undercurrents of resentment among certain quarters.

I wish this country will improve, develop and progress... not just in physical terms but more so in human terms. Afterall, it is the people who make this land a nation.

Two days ago, the Chinese community celebrated Mooncake Festival. I duly joined in of course and had dinner with my extended family. When the mooncakes were passed around, some of us were amused by the modern versions of our traditional mooncakes. From the humble red bean to the Toffee Chocolate Walnut Brownie melting in my mouth, it became clear to me that this was also how our nation has evolved. We are not just Malays, Chinese, Indians, Bengalis, Melanau, Kadazandusun, Ibani... we are Malaysians. We are a 'rojak' nation - just like this new twist to the traditional mooncake.

So, to everyone who calls herself or himself a 'true Anak Malaysia' - Happy Birthday! =)