52 Years of Waiting

Growing up as a kid, I never really understood what being a Malaysian was all about. Simply because as a kid, I didn't see people as Malays, Indians, Punjabis or Chinese. They were either my friends or just people I didn't know. Life for me, as a kid was so much simpler and I grew up having Chinese, Indian, Malay and Punjabi friends.

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Today, as an adult, I am supposed to be wiser. Today, as a society, we are supposed to be more civilised. So, why are my friends of other races becoming lesser and lesser? We are supposed to be more understanding and 'tolerant' of each other but we seem not to be. Actually, I don't like to use this description of our society, 'to be tolerant of one another' or in our national language, 'mengamalkan sikap bertoleransi di antara satu sama lain' (not bad for someone who scored 'P8' for BM in SPM eh? LOL).

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When we tolerate others, it brings to mind a feeling of disgust and annoyance. It's like saying,

"Wah lau... I cannot tahan that stupid song but no choice lah. Have to tahan anyway, if not sure fight wan...".

It's actually a very negative way of looking at things and certainly a very negative way to live in a plural society like ours. That's one term I like - 'plural society'. It reminds me that there's more than one and we all belong to ONE society.

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Yes, the radio stations are blaring it, the TV stations are pasting it over the screen 24/7 - this 'Satu Malaysia' message which some might term as propaganda. Some may see it as the government's attempts to air-brush the mess that we are in right now (Yes, boys and girls, we ARE in a mess!) while the more optimistic will see this as a campaign to strenghten national unity. For our current and future generation, I hope the latter is indeed truer than the former.

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In previous years, I would most likely be out on the town on Merdeka Eve, with my beloved country's flag draped around me and I'd be running like a madman with my students at Sunway Pyramid screaming 'Merdeka! Merdeka!'. Somehow, this year, the enthusiasm has left me. Not that I don't love my country anymore but recent events have shattered my belief in what's left to hope for in this country. The names 'S. Kugan' and 'Teoh Beng Hock' remind us that we are still a long way from 'Merdeka'. Having independence means being free to live but instead, we live in fear of what's to transpire. Add to those two names, one particularly beautiful soul - the late Yasmin Ahmad, and the mood this year is indeed more sombre than triumphant.

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I love my country but there's not much love coming from the other side. Anyone who's experienced unrequited love will know how that feels. Sucks right? I always advice those blindly in love that 'love is not a one way street'. 'It takes two hands to clap' would be the completing phrase for that. I have loved my country for my entire life so far, when will she ever return my love? For those like me, it's been 52 years... and we are still waiting...

KAMI CINTA NEGARA KITA, KAMI ANAK MALAYSIA!

Selamat Menyambut Hari Merdeka kepada semua Anak Malaysia. Live long and prosper!

Disappear

We used to walk along the same path,
until our roads diverged,
which lead us down separate paths,
from where our lives once merged.

I have kept my end of the promise,
to always be there for you,
to let you know, how much of you I miss,
and how my life without you seems blue.

But where have you gone to?
where is the promise you made?
the words to me you said,
are not where they once laid.

Would you tell me,
how could this be?
Where is your heart and honesty,
for someone who once made you see?

I never asked for a promise,
it was you who gave it,
yet I do not see, hear or feel it,
the words to which you commit.

I am burned in an ocean of fire,
the waves crash onto my heart,
they break and they batter,
crushing me in every part.

I was once your teacher,
your guiding light,
but now i am non other,
than the darkest of night.

I am your friend and will always be,
but I cannot be the one,
to keep the candle burning strong and free,
if you end it before it has even begun.

Now I am neither your friend nor your teacher,
how I wish I was still the latter,
for we used to have so much fun together,
sharing thoughts and laughter.

I am prepared and willing to keep walking,
to keep the candle burning,
for our friendship is worth growing,
and our memories are worth remembering.

I hope things will get better,
I hope there won't be tears,
for I do not want to persevere,
only to see it disappear.

All The World's A Stage

... and all the men and women merely players. So goes the famous quote from Shakespeare's 'As You Like It'. Shakespeare may have been brilliant to see that life is played out almost like a stage performance but I bet he had no idea that a stage could rock!

Saturday, August 15, 2009 - what a blast it was at MTV World Stage in Sunway Lagoon! I was lucky enough to win 4 passes from VJ Utt at Zouk's Pre-Party the week before and I put them to good use, bringing my cousin and 2 crazy rock fans along. And boy, did we party!

We got there an hour early and were greeted by a slight drizzle which was threatening to turn into a thunderstorm. Luckily for us, the rain faded away soon after. It would've been funny if it poured 'cause Sunway Lagoon specifically drained the entire surf pool just for this event. Imagine having the pool fill up with water during the concert. Haha! That would've been totally insane!

We wanted to sneak in our cameras but were told by the organisers that cameras were not allowed. If only I'd known they hardly enforced the rule. When we got into the concert venue, we saw tons of people camwhoring away. That totally sucked. It was a good thing my student ran into her friend, who was one of those who smuggled in their cameras. So that meant we could camwhore too! Yay!

Local band Estranged were already playing by the time we got there but not many were interested. Estranged actually plays some good music but unfortunately, being a local band, not many people bother. So much for 'Malaysia Boleh'. Hah!

Then, VJs Utt and Tanya appeared on stage to throw some t-shirts and other prizes at the audience before announcing the next act. This was the first of 3 acts many of us had been waiting for and it was definitely a good one to begin with. Boys Like Girls roared off with their infectious new single ,'Love Drunk' which had the crowd jumping and screaming, including yours truly. That was the first official moment of me being 18 again on the night. After a fun-filled set, they capped their performance with 'The Great Escape' - awesome!

Raygun came up next and predictably, a majority of the crowd were like... 'okay...' Not the most enthusiastic, I can tell you!

After Raygun ended their set, the crowd (mostly the guys) started screaming again when the adorable yet foxy Pixie Lott heated up the stage with her presence. My... my... my... what a voice. I can't believe she's only 18. Man... she's HOT! Love the accent!

After a long wait, the 2nd of the 3 anticipated acts came on stage to loud cheers of 'Hoobastank! Hoobastank! Hoobastank!'. Doug Robb, the lead singer mentioned, "Wow, I've never seen so many people in a pool!" I also managed to spot a cheeky poster from one of the female fans which read, 'Can I buy you another drink, Dan?', referring to lead guitarist, Dan Estrin. They rocked the crowd and had us eating out of their hands when they finally performed their biggest hit, 'The Reason'. Man, we were singing like a choir out there!



If that performance was crazy, then the next act totally set the stage on fire! All American Rejects kicked off their set with 'Dirty Little Secret' and they really worked up the crowd throughout their entire performance. It was one hit after another and I just couldn't stop jumping and screaming like an 18-year-old. No, I'm not ashamed to admit I'm in the 'uncle' age group but at the same time, I'm not ashamed to behave like a 'kid' either. Haha!

Their performance was the best of the night and this is where I thought the organisers made a big mistake. A huge percent of the crowd started leaving after AAR ended their energy-sapping performance. I mean, who could blame them? How many of us have even heard of Kasabian? I only know one song - L.S.F., and that's from playing FIFA 2004. True to expectations, the remaining crowd were largely quiet and unmoved throughout the performance. When the band finally played L.S.F., there was suddenly a lot of jumping and singing. Now we know how many people actually play FIFA 2004. Haha!

It was a shame the concert ended in such anti-climactic fashion but I had my fun anyway. Rocking with all the young people out there was such a high. Now, I'll have to get back to being 26 :p

*Photos courtesy of mtv.asia.com and Kin Hoe.

Two Weeks In A Row? Impossible.

That thought entered my mind as we sat there in a group, laughing 'till our jaws and stomachs hurt.

Last week, I just had a great session with this bunch and today, here we were again, laughing our heads off. I mentioned in the previous post that this class has that rare quality called 'chemistry'. Today, they've proved me right again.

It's not easy to work up a good hearty laugh when we're doing something as tedious, mind-numbing and boring as exams. But it's something we need to do, no matter how boring it is. I feel for my students. Many of them are going through tough times facing exams, strained family ties, problems in friendship and that touchy issue of 'love'. And some are even falling sick. But how do I balance the need for preparing them for SPM and having fun in learning?

Teaching is not as easy as some would think, simply because studying is boring stuff. And making studying fun is a real challenge in itself. I guess I owe it to my upbringing that I had the opportunity to be creative from a young age. My parents had a personal tutor at home, teaching me nursery rhymes when I was merely 3. I believe this was what sparked my interest and love for English, and with it, the passion for languages. And with this passion ingrained in my heart, I started writing poetry, which is an excellent way of expressing creativity. As I grew with an inquisitive mind, my creativity over-flowed into other areas of my life - art, music and drama.

I did not envision to be a teacher at a young age. Those who know me well, know of how I became a teacher. Life is strange in how it leads you to a destination you never expected, where everything falls into place. The skills I had gained since young are now applied shamelessly on a weekly basis. Just ask my students and they'll tell you that these 3 elements are ever-present in my classes. I draw, I sing, I dance, I act, I tell jokes - in many ways, I'm a one-man mobile entertainment machine! Haha!

All this is in good fun but it serves one purpose - my students. I try to make learning fun not for me but for my students. I understand the pressure they have to go through as a young teenager. All that stress just isn't good for young healthy minds. So, I try to inject some fun into their lives, hoping that it will relieve them of their stress. There's fun even when we're doing the boring stuff like discussing exam papers, essay-writing and of course, grammar (I swear I can hear groans from every corner. Haha!).


Not many people realise that I have to seriously crack my head for new ideas all the time. A good example are my group projects and last week's literature exercise, which I designed. Some exercises, like today's group-writing, were ideas I borrowed from the internet but which I modified to suit my classes. And then, there are some which I have to pull out of the hat when Plan A AND Plan B fail. Thank goodness I have quite a bit of creativity in my brains or else I'll be dead. Well, actually, I won't suffer that much but my students will really suffer having to go through a boring lesson if my main plan and back-up plan fail.

In the end, my students are what matters to me the most. A lot of people don't get me when I say this - I was happy to get my pay today but I was happier to hear the laughter and see the smiles on my students' faces. If I were to measure it in terms of money, then I guess this would sum it up:

-
Stationery = $ 2.50
Writing paper = $ 11.90
Tables and chairs = $ 800
Laughing our heads off = PRICELESS

There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard. =)