Friday, 31 October 2008

Graduation Days And Farewell Nights

I had the privilege of attending my students' Graduation Day in their school today. In a way, I could also say that I was going for my own. You see, my school never organised such extravagant and fun activities when we graduated. Nope, we just had our own little class party, which we had to organise ourselves and it was 'Bye bye' til we meet again for SPM. So, this was something which has been missing from my life for quite some time now. Well, not anymore!

The moment I walked past the gates, it felt like a homecoming. It was "Hey, how are you?" and "Wah, long time no see!" and "Wow, look at you! All grown up!" For some reason, I seem to have a million students and ex-students from this school. So much so that I looked more like a school teacher rather than an outsider (some even said I looked more like a student. Ha!).

The hall was three-quarters full with mostly fifth formers dressed in their respective custom made class t-shirts. (That's another thing I never had. Damn! I'm jealous!) Students representing their class took to the stage to give their final performance, ranging from hip-hop dances to group singing. I was happily sitting with my "classmates", enjoying the show while recording some of it on video. Some of the guys cheekily suggested that some girls were checking me out. Ha! (and that's the reason why I'm still single?)

The final performance signalled a flurry of flashes as students rushed to snap photos with their friends. I was lucky enough to be one of them. By 1pm, I had said all my 'goodbye's and left for lunch with two of my "classmates". A day to remember but I didn't have too much time to dwell on that.

Tonight would be my 2nd "Farewell" with another of my classes. Considering I just said "farewell" to one of my classes yesterday, the timing couldn't have been more emotionally draining. It's hard to say how I feel as I go through the course of preparing for my class graduations. On one hand, I feel excited preparing for them. On the other hand, I'm reluctant to complete the task.

Each class gives me a different feeling but they're all special in their own way. I don't like to say which class is better but the truth is, different students react differently to my teaching approach. Some like it, some don't. Still, it's most of them who enjoy my classes, so I let them go knowing I've done my best as a teacher; and as a friend. Tonight's group included some who are special to me as they have been with me for the past 5 years. Seeing them grow from boys to men is an unbelievable feeling. It's hard to beat that.

Of course, 5 years would mean nothing if our relationship was passive. It's the effort from both sides that makes the relationship grow. In light of this, yesterday's group of students deserve special mention as I have only been with them for 7 months but our relationship has sky-rocketed to the level of some of my oldest students. My only regret is that I can no longer spend as much time with them as I have all this while...



Dear Blog,
At times like this... when tears form in my eyes and only these 4 walls can see... I'm glad I have you...

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

The Silence After The Sound

I had my last extra class with my students today. Next week will be our last. As they had not been going to school for the past few days, it was natural that they were happy to meet up and chatted away during the lesson. It got quite noisy and distracting at one point so I had to tell them to keep quiet... and not just once but a few times. Was I angry? No... somehow, I just can't bring myself to get angry with this class. In fact, I find it hard to get angry with all my older classes. I guess I love them too much to want to spoil the fun of learning. Besides, they know how to behave themselves (well, most of the time anyway).

My thoughts then flew to all the 'last classes' I would be teaching this week and next. Tomorrow, I will be saying my first 'goodbye' and I don't even know how to begin...

Back in the room, it was time to say 'goodbye' and as I said, "See you next week" to each of them, the sound followed them out the door, one by one. Soon... all was left was just my bag, myself and the silence. I paused a moment to look around the class... staring at the silence... I felt so reluctant to go out the door. 'At least, they'll be back again next week' I consoled myself.

By the time next week comes, I won't be able to say the same.

Friday, 24 October 2008

A Magician Who's Lost His Magic Touch?

I couldn't wait to get my hands on Jay's latest album, Capricorn but wait, I had to. I've been busy marking essays and preparing the final lessons for my Form 5 classes these past few weeks. So, I was glad I finally had the time to visit my local cd seller and get a copy.

I inserted the cd into the player as soon as I got into the car and was immediately hooked onto the fast crunching sounds of 'Long Zhan Qi Shi'. It was a tune that was at once familiar yet new - a signature Jay Chou song.

Back in my room, I continued listening to the cd over and over again on my computer. It was a strange musical journey. Some songs, especially the ballads, were easy on the ear but some others were weird and incomprehensible. The track listing was such that a nice song and an odd-sounding one played alternately. So, it was a somewhat unsatisfying listen. Songs such as 'Mo Shu Xian Sheng' and 'Qiao Ke Shu Shu' were quite awful and didn't warrant a second listen. It wasn't until I ripped the cd onto my computer and put my favourite songs in order that the musical journey became satisfyting.

Some have complained that his musical style has hardly changed in recent years. To me, if you're comfortable doing something you like and it's still good, there's really no need to change anything. Of course, there's the view that you need to constantly challenge yourself to improve and move forward but then, there's also the widely held mantra of 'Don't fix what's not broken'. On this one, I'm with the latter.

Getting some feedback from fans and other music enthusiasts alike, it seems most agree that while still considered 'good', 'Capricorn' pales in comparison to 'On The Run' (and indeed many of his previous albums). However, I think it's still too early to judge Jay's ninth album. As my students and I neared the end of our casual discussion, it was clear that his songs seem to grow on you the more you listen to it. Still in my room with the songs repeating for the 29th time, I find myself swaying and singing along... maybe Jay's still got the magic touch afterall.


Recommended Tracks:
Long Zhan Qi Shi, Gei Wo Yi Shou Ge De Shi Jian, Hua Hai, Shi Guang Ji, Dao Xiang, Shuo Hao De Xing Fu Ne

Friday, 17 October 2008

She Stole My Sushi

I was thinking of having some pasta for dinner yesterday when I caught sight of a long line outside Sushi King. So, being curious especially when it comes to food, I walked up to see what was going on. It just so happened to be the last day of the 'RM 2 Per Plate Sushi Promotion' and so, without hesitation, I got myself a seat in front of the sushi counter. The place was packed with unsurprisingly, Chinese customers. I'm not sure if anyone has noticed but most Japanese restaurants boast a high number of Chinese customers. Well, at least more compared to Malays and Indians. Maybe it's a cultural thing.

Anyway... so I sat there, gazing at the 'kaiten' to see what was being offered. I started off with 'unagi sushi' and continued with a different type each round. I was content to sit and wait as the plates of sushi made their way past me... that was until the new items were brought out to the sushi counter in front of me. Before I could even take a peek at what was being offered, I found my view blocked by a crowd of on-rushing people, squeezing their way past each other. While they did not push and shove, I found it annoying enough to spoil my mood.

Worse was to follow. As soon as the fresh sushi plates were put down on the 'kaiten', greedy hands sprung out from all around me, grabbing at the plates. I was helpless and disgusted in the midst of all this and really felt like telling them off.

I decided to wait for one last dish before pulling myself out of this mad house and it duly arrived. It was one of my favourites - 'ebi tempura sushi'. This time, the staff were smarter and placed the plates on hand-held trays so they could distribute them fairly to the other tables away from the 'kaiten'. I gave a wry smile as I waited for the arrival of my prized prawns but my joy turned to horror as the crowd swarmed towards the waitress and grabbed the sushi plates off her tray! This went on despite the waitress hopelessly saying,

"Tak boleh ambil ni!"

I nearly lost it when I stared at a Chinese office lady who was one of those idiots but she turned her head away and walked past me with the plate of sushi in her hand as if it was the most natural thing to do! Well, natural if you've not eaten for a week or you've never seen sushi in your whole life. B***h!

Thank goodness one of the waitresses recognised me as a regular at this chain and personally hand-delivered a plate of my prized prawns to me. After having a final sip of 'ocha', I got off my seat nonchalantly and went to the counter to pay. I said, "Arigato" and "Oyasumi" and walked out but not before I gave one last stare at the B***h. Ooh... I felt like slapping her then... but I shrugged it off in the end. Idiots aren't worth my time.

I left the place wondering if this sort of uncouth social behaviour was the trademark of Malaysians in general or just simply the Chinese. Maybe it's a cultural thing.

Sunday, 12 October 2008

Music Makes My Heart Go "Mmm..."

xie yi xou jian dan de ge, rang ni de xing cing kuai le...

Wang Lee-Hom couldn't have sung it better. How true it is that some people say, 'music is the food of the soul'. Just a simple song or a tune can overturn the most complicated and wretched feeling. I certainly believe in the power of music - it just happened to me today.

As I sat there singing my heart out into the microphone, I could feel the worries that had eaten into me, slowly being eaten away by the music. What was left of me after belting out one favourite after another was pure joy and ecstasy. A feeling of having the heaviest boulder lifted off my shoulders. Truly, the magic of music never fails to astound me.

Of course, it wasn't just the music alone but also the company; and what company it was! 3 cheerful and adorable girls accompanied me as I sang but I was not the star of course. That belonged to the birthday girl.

People who know me might gawk at the fact that I'm spending my Sunday evening singing karaoke with a trio of teenage girls when I'm already way past my teenhood. But the thing is, I feel every bit like a teen. When I say this, some might go,

"Please lah... you're already blah blah blah... can you start acting your age?"

And I never know how to reply to that because I'm acting exactly my age! Afterall, how do you act your age anyway? Is age based on the year printed on your I.C. or the year imprinted in your heart? Well, I certainly feel it's the latter and I couldn't be more honest about it than I already am! =)

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Chains Around My Heart

It's been a rather disheartening week. The latest results from my students' essays have not been good. Only a few have given me a glimmer of hope that they can score the elusive 'A'. While I had already expected their results to be average by Cambridge's standards, I surely didn't expect their essays to fare so poorly.

As I returned from a briefing on essay grading, my mind was burdened with countless thoughts and questions. Inside, my heart was being eaten away by worries that seemed unending. What have I done wrong? Did I use the correct approach? Have I failed as a teacher...?

I then went on a mad shopping spree, hoping to wash away the frustration and worry inside me, much like how the rain had washed the dirt off my car. I'm such a girl I know... but it's the only remedy I know.

When I returned to my class after that episode, the chains in my heart seemed to tighten further. Looking into my students' eyes, the chains weighed like rocks. It was so hard for me to break the bad news but I had to. Seeing their shocked and worried expressions pained me further but they encouraged me to go on. In their own way, they made me feel much better about myself.

By the end of the class, the chains around my heart had loosened and weighed nothing more than pebbles. This bunch of students - they're really something. What would I do without them? With less than a month before they leave, it's really time I start thinking about what I must do without them...